Healthy Or Not
by Ozwin
Summary: Bits and pieces of memories rushed through Hermione's head, and she could not stop it. He was gone already. But what if someone else - someone as broken as she is - tries his best to save her in order to save himself? Previous HG/FW. HG/GW.


**A/N: Hey guys. Sorry if I hadn't been on fanfiction for quite some time. It's because I now have an iMac, and am using Apple applications instead of Microsoft. And fanfiction doesn't support Pages. And so I tried to find a way, and voila! Anyways, I have exams tomorrow, but this short fic won't hurt, will it? By the way, this is my first rated M fic, so forgive me if I make some mistakes. Oh, and be warned: This may break your heart. It made mine go to pieces when I was writing it.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. *Le sigh***

_This may sound a little cliché, especially coming from me, but I love you, Hermione._

The two men in black suits started to throw earth on the hole on the ground, where he was resting in from now and until forever. She started to let the tears fall.

_It had always been you._

Bits and pieces of memories rushed through Hermione's head, and she could not stop it. He was gone already. For Merlin's sake, she never even said a decent goodbye to him. The least she could do is remember all their moments together. She longed for his voice, his happy and cheery voice that could cheer her up even when she was in the most upset state.

_Your smile makes the world less horrifying._

Their relationship had been kept a secret. Only his twin knew about it. She wasn't planning on blurting their romance with anyone else, though. She wanted to let the secret lie with him.

_You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and I have seen many, mind you._

As soon as the ceremony was over, Hermione ran. She saw a glimpse of Harry and Ron staring at her in surprise, but she didn't care. She couldn't stand _not_ breaking down into tears.

When she was able to be at least a few blocks away from the church and the graveyard, she let her feet lead her to an alley. And there, on the filthy ground, she sat and sobbed.

_I've been wanting to confess my feelings for you for _years_, but I...I was a coward._

She was currently wearing a black dress, a dress she had worn on their first secret date at Madam Puddifoot's about a year ago. Although it seemed wrong to wear something she wore on their first date to his funeral, she felt like...she felt like she _needed_ to.

_Don't fret, darling._

She heard sobbing. It was a familiar sound. It sounded just like who _she_ was sobbing for.

_I wouldn't last a day without thinking about you._

"G-George?" Hermione called out warily. "Is that you?"

_I miss you every moment when you're not around._

When he came into view, she didn't recognize him. She was so used to seeing the twins either smiling or smirking, but his current expression said neither. George looked...of course, horrible. His hair was a mess, there were dark circles under his eyes, and he looked like he hadn't been eating for days.

"I miss him too," he simply said.

_Honestly, I think I would give up my shop just for you. And that's something you don't hear from me everyday._

Hermione stood up, her knees all wobbly. She walked slowly towards him, more tears threatening to fall from her eyes. He looked _too_ much like him that it hurt.

When she closed the distance between them, she embraced him. She tightened her embrace, wanting him to respond. For a few moments, he didn't.

_You're going to be the only girl I ever loved truly._

But slowly, he wrapped his own arms around her. It was a foreign feeling. He had never been hugged by Hermione before, so it felt exceptionally different. But he decided he liked the feeling.

_I'm crazy about you, love._

"I feel like I want to kill myself or something," he muttered.

Hermione immediately broke free, looking at him in the eye. "George."

George just closed his eyes, pressing his nose bridge. His head was spinning. He felt...He couldn't imagine living without his twin. Throughout his whole life, Fred had been always there beside him. He couldn't let go of him.

"George, listen to me."

He opened his eyes. Hermione looked desperate, tired, and broken. After all, Fred loved her very much, and she loved him. He had seen the way they look at each other. They were crazy about one another, and once, he even wondered if he'll be getting little nieces and nephews anytime soon.

But he guessed that was never going to happen.

_Who knew the world's number one wizard prankster would fall in love with the world's number one wizard bookworm?_

She walked closer again, cupping his face with her shaking hands. He looked too much like him. It was so painful, like a knife cut through her chest.

"George, you can't. _He_ wouldn't want that."

"What's the point?" he interjected. "What's the point of even _living_ when the person you love the most is not there anymore?"

Hermione sobbed harder. "I...I know."

George stared at her. "How could you _know_? You never had a sibling, much less a _twin_! You don't _know_ how it bloody feels, Granger."

"You bloody know very well I do!" she shouted back. "I _loved_ him, George! He was the best person I have ever met, even someone like you would know that. I can't...Argh, I can't..." She didn't continue, and instead, she cried even harder. She sank on the floor again, unable to control the pain she felt.

_You have such a heavenly face. You're my angel._

He regretted saying the words. Of course they loved each other. He knew if Fred's fate happened to Hermione, he would break the same way she did. They were half and half. One can't live without another.

"I...I'm sorry."

She looked up, sobbing even harder. Her whole fragile body was shaking with pain. "Maybe...Maybe you're r-right. Maybe I didn't really love him enough. Maybe I _wasn't_ enough."

It was his turn to walk closer to her. He kneeled in front of her, holding her hands. "No. You were more than enough. He loved you too. I know it, I'm his _twin_, for Merlin's sake. I shouldn't have said that. I apologize."

_I want you._

She didn't know what had gotten into her. But his face was just inches away, and she couldn't help it. She leaned closer abruptly and pressed her chapped lips against his surprised ones.

_I swear on Godric, you'll be the death of me, Granger_.

George didn't know what to do. He just stayed there motionless while Hermione's lips begged for him to respond. He knew it was wrong. She was his twin's girl, and he felt guilty. She wasn't his.

But they were both broken, too. They were both affected by _his_ death, and they mourned for him. Although it was wrong, it may be the only way for them to comfort each other.

And so he started to move his lips with her in rhythm.

_This must be the millionth time I had said this, Hermione, but I can't stand your eyes. They're too beautiful._

Yes, it was definitely wrong. Hermione, of all the people, knew that. It wasn't right.

But she didn't care. George looked almost exactly like the love of her life, only missing an ear. He would always remind her of him. They had the exact smile, laugh, and eyes.

Their kiss deepened gradually. If she closed her eyes tighter or if she imagined thoroughly, she will be able to pretend that it was Fred she was kissing. But of course, she didn't let her thoughts drift that far. She still wanted to hold on to the fact that he was _George_, because if she didn't, she was afraid of the heartbreaking reality that would strangle her in the end.

"This isn't right," George mumbled, but he didn't stop. He held Hermione's head tight, as if he was afraid her face might pull away.

_You're tempting me again, Granger_.

Hermione made a small squeak, tightening her grasp on George's red locks. "I know it isn't," she muttered in reply, deepening the kiss fiercely, and George felt like she pushing her beautiful slick tongue down his throat.

"But you don't really care?"

Hermione suddenly hesitated with her kisses, slowing down a little bit. "For now, yes, I don't," she simply replied.

Shyly, she slowly unbuttoned his polo while kissing down his chin. This made him surprised.

"Hermione," he whispered. Hermione felt tears sliding down her left cheek. He sounded just like _him_ when he said her name. "This is definitely _not_ the place for us to be doing this."

When she didn't reply, he made them both apparate to his own flat.

_Every second of everyday, I miss you._

O.o.O.o.O.o

It was painful, and she cried a lot, but it was worth it at the same time.

Hermione opened her eyes. When she turned her eyes towards his clock at his bedtime table, she realized it was almost midnight. She slowly unwrapped George's arm around her, and tears started to slide down her cheeks again. What had she done? Why did she take advantage of George - George, of all the people - just because he was mourning too?

Trying not to make a sound, she sat up. She found her clothes on the floor, and she quickly put them on herself.

"Fred..."

She froze, halfway in buttoning up her dress. The next thing she knew, she was sobbing. She didn't even notice the sound of George waking up when she heard her cries.

"Hey."

Hermione stood up slowly, continuing to button her dress. She didn't want to look at him. If she will, then she will break even harder. It would make her feel guilty.

When she turned towards the doorway of his bedroom, his steel-like hands gripped on her both arms.

"Hey," he said again, more serious this time.

"I'm sorry," she cried, not turning to him. She continued to squirm hopelessly under his grip.

He turned her around, and his heart sank when he saw her eyes as red as ever and traces of dried tears on her cheeks. "Why are you apologizing?" he demanded.

"I shouldn't have done this," she sobbed. She almost sank on the floor, but he held her upright. "I can't. I can't do this."

He tried to understand, but he couldn't. "You can't do what?"

"This isn't right, remember?" she said, looking into his blue eyes. They were the exact ones Fred had. And she felt a horrible pain again in her chest. "It isn't healthy, right, correct, or _anything_. I'm a monster."

"No, you're not."

She sobbed even harder.

Unable to help it anymore, he pressed his lips on hers, which was probably the millionth time that day. She tried not to respond, but just gave up after a few seconds and kissed back just as fiercely.

George pulled away, holding her face in her hands. "You are not a monster, Hermione. Please."

She didn't reply. But he continued.

"I...I know this isn't right. It's wrong. We're both in bad condition, and we probably aren't in the right minds at the moment. But you know what...I don't give a damn anymore. I don't care if this is healthy or not. I don't care if this is wrong or right. All I know is that I need you. You're like the only drug I can't resist. And if you...And if you leave, I'll probably won't ever go back to who I used to be."

She sniffed.

He waited for her reply.

"I need you, too," she said. "Now that he's gone, I have no one but you. I'm not saying that you're my substitute, definitely not. But I think...I think that maybe you're the only one who would be able to bring me back to be...myself again."

George leaned in to kiss her again. She kissed back gratefully.

"Let's just try this, okay?" she murmured in between kisses. "Let's just try if this relationship can turn out well."

"Mm," he replied. "Let's."

And when they continued to kiss, Hermione remembered one last sentence Fred had said to her that felt like an infinity before.

_If I die young, I only want you to remember me as a person. Don't remember me as a corpse. Oh, and let George take care of you._


End file.
